You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is Oprah even human
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
