no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
