you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
