ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
