haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
