is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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