I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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