I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
