i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
