Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
