You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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