OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
