I wish i was in the wii world.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
