if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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