Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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