dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
there is glitter all over my balls
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
