woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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