if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
