Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Can I color on your dick again?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
