She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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