eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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