Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
