This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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