No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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