just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
