we have officially lost it.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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