omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
