Banned from zoo.
Again?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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