so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
