i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
