gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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