you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
