I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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