But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
