your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
