There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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