i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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