Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
