At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
