Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I didn't notice because vodka
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
