I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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