I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
