Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
