Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
