We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
