what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
