Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
