so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
