I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
