the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
