Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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