ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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