She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
