i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
