You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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