You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
