how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
