Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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